


brother knows best

by Mantykora



Series: MadaTobi Week 2018 [4]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Comedy of Errors, Day 3, Fake/Pretend Relationship, M/M, MadaTobi Week 2018
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-07
Updated: 2018-08-07
Packaged: 2019-06-23 09:53:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,519
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15603765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mantykora/pseuds/Mantykora
Summary: all's fair in love and war or: Hashirama loves to meddle in other people's love lives





	brother knows best

**Author's Note:**

> (belayed) MadaTobi Week 2018 - Day 3: Fake relationship/hidden relationship

"So, do you know anything?" Madara asked.

Hashirama took on a thoughtful look, but in the next instant his eye lit up with enlightenment.

"No," he announced. "But let's find out!"

Saying that he grabbed Madara by the front of his robe and pulled him against his body.

Madara had only a moment to utter a confused "Wha~?" before Hashirama tangled his other hand in his hair and smashed their lips together.

Their tongues met in a dance of pleasure and Madara could not help himself. He moaned into the kiss and let Hashirama sweep him off his feet. With the blood rushing to his head, the sound of the door unlocking went completely unnoticed.

They parted just in time to see Tobirama enter the office.

An awkward silence settled over the place.

Before anyone could start explaining anything, the younger Senju threw them a curt "Excuse me" and departed in a haste.

Madara could only stand in shock, mouth agape and eyes blinking stupidly. That was _not_ the plan.

"I don't think Tobirama took it well," Hashirama spoke, oblivious to Madara's internal crisis.

"You think?!" Madara snarled. "When I asked for your help that's not what I had in mind!"

He was _this_ close to loosing his temper and strangling the Hokage. Consequences be damned.

"You wanted to know whether Tobirama _fancied someone at the moment_ ," Hashirama replied, throwing back in his face the words Madara had used just a few moments ago.

"Now you know that at least he's visibly upset by you kissing someone else," he explained but after a thoughtful silence he amended. "Either that or he's upset with you kissing me. With his brother complex you can never know."

Madara wanted to scream. Preferably at someone.

"How's that of any help?!" he exploded before his mood took a sudden nose-dive toward gloom and doom.

"He'll think that- that we-," he stuttered, trying to find words that could wrap up this entire clusterfuck of a situation.

"He won't want to do anything with me if he thinks I'm shagging up with his brother?!" he finally spat out.

"You're right. That may complicate things," Hashirama admitted with a sagely nod.

"Poor Tobirama," he sighed, an act that made Madara doubt his sincerity. "Knowing him he'll probably despair in desolation somewhere out there. His troubled mind coming up with most preposterous scenarios. Maybe even trying to bury any feelings he might have ever had for you. I mean who'd want to be a second pick? Or worse: a replacement."

Hashirama kept rambling on and every word felt like another nail to Madara's coffin of any romantic endeavors with Tobirama.

"Why would you do that?" Madara cried. The whole mess was starting to feel more like some cruel joke than an attempt at help.

"It is my younger brother you set your devices on," Hashirama reminded him, then maintaining an air of innocence, added. "Is it so wrong of me to test the mettle of the suitor?"

"What's better way to establish that than a test of character by overcoming adversity in the name of true love," Hashirama extrapolated, seeing Madara's dumbfounded expression.

"That is if you're not looking for a casual fling," he added as an afterthought. "You did seem to enjoy that kiss a little bit too much," he tutted at Madara with his finger.

"But, but, but I wanted to get to know him, not to ask for his hand in marriage," Madara moaned in horror at Hashirama's delusions.

"In that case what's better time to start than the present?" Hashirama replied cheerfully.

In that moment it dawned on Madara that he had been expertly played by his best friend.

If he did not act now he would loose any chances on ever courting- _getting to know_ Tobirama. He had to talk to him. Worse, he would have to be completely honest with him. There was no time left for flirting or vague overtures. Yet nothing mortified him more than the knowledge that he would get a straight answer out of Tobirama. After all weren't they both stuck in the same boat by Hashirama's good intentions? Although, Hashirama's help in this matter equaled more to setting them up on a boat cruise without a paddle and a waterfall waiting around the corner.

Some of his inner thoughts must have shown on his face, because without any prompting, Hashirama spoke.

"Tobirama's on the last training ground in the north forest."

Madara did not know whether he should kiss or kill Hashirama. But without further debacle he leaped through the window and dashed after Tobirama.

When he came closer to the training field he registered on his sensory range that Tobitama had just departed it. It was clear that Senju was running away. If Madara wanted to catch up to him he would have to use some unorthodox methods.

He channeled a greater deal of chakra to his feet than was advisable and propelled himself faster and further forward. The downside: minimal control of the jump and he ended up with a face full of leaves on his next step. It did not went much better on the rest of the way.

Finally, he caught up to Tobirama. He appeared in front of him, spitting leaves and looking far worse for wear.

"Don't you dare take another step!" he ordered, blocking the other man's way.

"What is your problem, Uchiha?" Tobirama growled.

In his mad rush there, Madara had no time to prepare a proper speech. In a short-lived burst of inspiration he blurted the first certain thing that came to his mind.

"Your brother's a manipulative asshole!"

"Didn't seem like you minded it very much when you mushed your face with him," Tobirama fired back, piqued.

"It wasn't like that!" Madara desperately tried to explain, wincing when he realized how dumb it sounded.

Tobirama seemed to be of the same opinion and raised a mocking brow.

"I am most certain that I saw a tongue in there," he countered.

Madara sputtered in embarrassment for being reminded of that.

"How eloquent," Tobirama commented snidely. "Did you hurt your tongue spelunking in Hashirama's mouth? You do know that he is a married man, don't you, Uchiha? Whatever-"

"Would you stop being an obtuse prick and let my explain?!" Madara demanded as his temper snapped. Having Tobirama snipe at him on every opportunity was puting a strain on his frazzled nerves.

"Fine, knock yourself out!" Tobirama barked back and gestured for Madara to get on with it.

With the prospect of not having to defend himself every few words, Madara breathed out the air he wasn't aware he was holding. He braced himself in preparation for what he had to say and promptly found himself at loss for words.

"Anytime now," Tobirama interrupted him impatiently.

Madara shot him a baleful look, but didn't raise to the bait. He bid himself strength to remain calm.

Usually, he didn't have this much trouble voicing his thoughts. On the contrary, he could be very vocal, but this time proper words eluded him.

With a sigh of defeat on his lips, Madara made his choice. There was no use in prolonging this torment.

"Do you fancy someone," he grumbled. "At the moment?"

"What?" Tobirama asked in bewilderment, clearly caught off-guard by Madara's question.

Seeing the other man this stumped filled Madara with more confidence in his endeavor. As Tobirama stayed silent, he jumped at the opportunity to explain himself further.

"That's what I asked Hashirama in the office," he said. "And then he-, and then you-, and then everything-," he stumbled on.

He still could not get his words right, but Tobirama looked far less agitated than a few moments ago. Madara decided to take his chance without wasting any more time on pointless elaborates.

"Do you, Tobirama?" he asked, capitalizing on Tobirama's amiable mood.

"Do I what?" Tobirama replied, startled out of his stupor. "Do I fancy someone?" He parroted.

For a brief moment his gaze took on a distant tint, but he mustered the inner strength to speak.

"I guess I like you," he murmured, almost too quite for Madara to hear.

A silence that was both awkward and quiescent fell between them after that confession. When it stretched for longer than comfortable and Tobirama did not elaborate any further, Madara started shifting in his spot.

"That's it?" he asked.

"You did _not_ expect a spontaneous declaration of love, did you?!" Tobirama exploded, flustered by Madara's crassness.

In that moment Madara decided that the light blush looked really good on Tobirama. Surrounded by nature and feeling light-headed from the overabundance of happy emotions, Madara stepped closer to the younger man. Tobirama did not fight back when he cradled his face and leaned in for their first kiss.

That fantasy was promptly shattered by a palm shoved rudely against his mouth.

"What do you think you are doing?" Tobirama asked, annoyed.

"I wanted to kiss you," Madara mumbled through the gaps between the fingers.

"Not a chance," Tobirama said firmly. "You were kissing my brother with that mouth a few moments ago."


End file.
